Career Descriptions

  1. English: A photo of a cup of coffee. Esperanto: Taso de kafo. Français : Photo d'une tasse de caffé Español: Taza de café (Photo credit: Wikipedia)A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is  shining and wants it back the minute it begins to rain.
  2. An economist is an expert who will know tomorrow why the things he predicted yesterday didn’t happen today.
  3. A statistician is someone who is good with numbers but lacks the personality to be an accountant.
  4. An actuary is someone who brings a fake bomb on a plane, because that decreases the chances that there will be another bomb on the plane.
  5. A programmer is someone who solves a problem you didn’t know you had in a way you don’t understand.
  6. A mathematician is like a blind man in a dark room looking for a black cat that isn’t there.
  7. A topologist is a someone who doesn’t know the difference between a coffee cup and doughnut.
  8. A lawyer is a person who writes a 10,000 word document and calls it a “brief.”
  9. A psychologist is someone who watches everyone else when a beautiful girl enters the room.
  10. A professor is one who talks in someone else’s sleep.
  11. A consultant is someone who takes the watch off your wrist and tells you the time.
  12. A committee is a body that keeps minutes and wastes hours
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Lawyer Sandwich

Big Tasty Sandwich (Photo credit: Wikipedia)Two lawyers went into the restaurant and ordered two drinks. Then they got sandwiches out of their briefcases and started to eat. The waiter said, “Hey, you can’t eat your own sandwiches in here!”

So the lawyers traded sandwiches.

 

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Driving Question

English: steering wheel photo by the uploader (Photo credit: Wikipedia)One evening I was driving my six-year-old daughter to her grandparents’ home for an overnight stay. It was late, there was little traffic and we were enjoying a peaceful ride. It was a far cry from the usual chaos surrounding us when I drive her to various activities during rush hour.

My daughter seemed deep in thought when she said, “I have a question.”

“What do you want to know?”

“Mom, when you’re driving,” she asked, “are you ever the idiot?”

 

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