Things to do at Wal-Mart while your significant other is taking his/her sweet time:
- Get cans of cat food and randomly put them in people’s carts when they don’t realize it.
- Set all the alarm clocks to go off at ten minute intervals throughout the day.
- Make a trail of orange juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.
- Walk up to an employee and tell him in an official tone, “I think we’ve got a Code 3 in house wares,” and see what happens.
- Tune all the radios to a polka station; then turn them all off and turn the volumes to “10.”
- Challenge other customers to duels with tubes of gift wrap.
- Put M&M’s on layaway.
- Move “Caution: Wet Floor” signs to carpeted areas.
- Set up a tent in the camping department; tell others you’ll only invite them in if they bring pillows from Bed and Bath.
- When someone asks if you need help, begin to cry and ask, “Why won’t you people just leave me alone?”
- Snoozology (texasgaga.wordpress.com)
- What 2012 Holds for Wal-Mart (dailyfinance.com)
- Layaway bills paid off by secret Santas (cbc.ca)