‘Twas the night before Christmas and Santa was a wreck …
How to live in a world that’s politically correct?
His workers no longer would answer to “Elves“,
“Vertically Challenged” they were calling themselves.
And labor conditions at the North Pole
Were alleged by the union to stifle the soul.
Four reindeer had vanished, without much propriety,
Released to the wilds by the Humane Society.
And equal employment had made it quite clear
That Santa had better not use just reindeer.
So Dancer and Donner, Comet and Cupid,
Were replaced with 4 pigs, and you KNOW that looked stupid!
The runners had been removed from his sleigh;
The ruts were termed dangerous by the E.P.A.
And people had started to call for the cops
When they heard sled noises on their roof-tops.
Second-hand smoke from his pipe had his workers quite frightened.
His fur-trimmed red suit was called “Unenlightened.”
And to show you the strangeness of life’s ebbs and flows,
Rudolph was suing over unauthorized use of his nose…
And had gone on the Ellen show, in front of the nation,
Demanding millions in over-due compensation.
So, half of the reindeer were gone; and his wife,
Who suddenly said she’d enough of this life,
Joined a self-help group, packed, and left in a whiz,
Demanding from now on her title was ‘Ms.’
And as for the gifts, why, he’d ne’er had a notion
That making a choice could cause so much commotion.
Nothing of leather, nothing of fur,
Which meant nothing for him. And nothing for her.
Nothing that might be construed to pollute.
Nothing to aim. Nothing to shoot.
Nothing that clamored or made lots of noise.
Nothing for just girls. Or just for the boys.
Nothing that claimed to be gender specific.
Nothing that’s warlike or non-pacific.
No candy or sweets…they were bad for the tooth.
Nothing that seemed to embellish a truth.
And fairy tales, while not yet forbidden,
Were like Ken and Barbie, better off hidden.
For they raised the hackles of those psychological
Who claimed the only good gift was one ecological.
No baseball, no football…someone could get hurt;
Besides, playing sports exposed kids to dirt.
Dolls were said to be sexist, and should be passe;
And Nintendo would rot your entire brain away.
So Santa just stood there, disheveled, perplexed;
He just could not figure out what to do next.
He tried to be merry, tried to be gay,
But you’ve got to be careful with THAT word these days.
His sack was quite empty, limp to the ground;
Nothing fully acceptable was to be found.
Something special was needed, a gift that he might
Give to all without angering the left or the right.
A gift that would satisfy, with no indecision,
Each group of people, every religion;
Every ethnicity, every hue,
Everyone, everywhere…even YOU!
So here is that gift, it’s price beyond worth…
“May you and your loved ones enjoy Peace On Earth.”
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Project Peace on delivered a featured song during the Christmas Eve Day celebrations held directly in front of the Church of the Nativity and across from a Mosque in Manger Square, Bethlehem.
I believe possible, who are we to determine the impossible?, i know one thing, if we keep thinking this and that is impossible, never reach it. the only way that peace on can be achieved is when each and every one of us truly believe in ourselves and that peace on WILL
take place, in fact if all people had faith in themselves, and believe their "inner guide" (the good voice) it would be a "peace" of cake. 🙂
My daughter-in-law buys me The Complete Day-by-Day log every year for Christmas. She is awesome! My son bought me a battery powered thing to scrub the grout in the bathtub. OK, so it needed scrubbing, but not a good gift. Well, not until Mr Diva used it to scrub the tub. Then it was an excellent gift!Men — do not give women housecleaning supplies unless you intend to put them to use (or have them removed at the emergency room)
Of every fairy tale I have read I believe my favorite is Cinderella. In my opinion someone who is faced with serious challenges like chores, clothes and evil sisters and is able to overcome that. It is pretty amazing. Even though she got some magical help she still did it. Ten my favorite is when she loses her slipper. The prince then searches the land for the owner of this beautiful shoe. When the prince comes to the Cinderella’s house the sisters are eager to marry the princes so they try it on. It doesn’t fit until Cinderella comes and tries it on. It fits perfectly so they get married and live happily ever after.