Ambiguous Newspaper Articles

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Huh? What were the authors of these newspaper articles really trying to say?
  • The burglar was about 30 years old, white, 5′ 10″, with wavy hair weighing about 150 pounds.
  • The family lawyer will read the will tomorrow at the residence of Mr. Hannon, who died June 19 to accommodate his relatives.
  • Mrs. Shirley Baxter, who went deer hunting with her husband, is very proud that she was able to shoot a fine buck as well as her husband.
  • Organ donations from the living reached a record high last year, outnumbering donors who are dead for the first time.
  • The dog was hungry and made the mistake of nipping a 2-year-old that was trying to force feed it in his ear.
  • We spent most of our time sitting on the back porch watching the cows playing Scrabble and reading.
  • Hunting can also be dangerous, as in the case of pygmies hunting elephants armed only with spears.
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Comments

  1. El says

    poop is always a problem on that back porch but what can you do, they love it there.Meresy-g: so what do you think? Do we need a rooster? We had one, but he went for a midnight drive (a long story). probably get more chicks next spring, and maybe keep the boy, if we get one. Do you think a rooster is “necessary?” happier without one!)

  2. MrRickydill says

    I watch Fox news alone. I also watch mainstream medias and have connections to medias all over the world. I DO live in the “Real World”.

  3. John Smith says

    Technically it’s a burglary, since the home was broken into, and something was stolen. But really, jellybeans? And nothing else? As by the Erie Times News: Police said the burglar broke the window in the front door of a home in the 12000 block of East Lake Road in East Township sometime between 7 and 11:59 p.m. on April 24. Once inside, the burglar took some jellybeans sitting on the dining room table and left. Police said no other inside the home was missing or moved. Nutty. Here’s the source. (In the same vein, check out this post.)

  4. Greg Matson says

    “Police won’t say how the burglar got into Trebek’s hotel room, but they do say she was not armed and that his life was never in Jeopardy.”

What did you think?