Your Funny, Clean Joke of the Day
The proud father brought home a backyard swing set for his children and immediately started to assemble it with all the neighborhood children anxiously waiting to play on it.
After several hours of reading the directions, attempting to fit bolt A into slot B, etc., he finally gave up and called upon an old handyman working in a neighboring yard.
The old-timer came over, threw the directions away, and in a short while had the set completely assembled.
A judge enters the courtroom, strikes the gavel and says, “Before I begin this trial, I have an announcement to make. The lawyer for the defense has paid me $15,000 to swing the case his way. The lawyer for the plaintiff has paid me $10,000 to swing the case her way. In order to make this a fair trial, I am returning $5,000 to the defense.”
Three gas station owners report for their first day in prison.
The prison guard asks one of them, “What are you in for?”
He replies, “The government says I charged customers more for my gasoline than other gas stations. I’m in for price gouging.”
The guard looks at the second man. “And you?”
He answers, “I charged less for my gasoline than everyone else. I’m in for anti-competitive pricing.”