- You can type sixty words a minute with your feet.
- Instant coffee takes too long.
- You chew on other people’s fingernails.
- You answer the door, before people knock.
- You sleep with your eyes open.
- You go to sleep, just so you can wake up and smell the coffee.
- You don’t even wait for the water to boil anymore.
- You’re the employee of the month at Starbucks – and you don’t even work there.
You know you’ve been drinking too much coffee when…
- You can take a picture of yourself from ten feet away without using the timer.
- You get a speeding ticket even when you’re parked.
- You just completed another sweater… and you don’t know how to knit!
- You answer the door before people knock.
- You have to watch videos in fast-forward.
- You ski uphill.
- You spend every vacation visiting “Maxwell House.”
“That’s ridiculous!” the man said huffily. “You and I both know that a cup of coffee doesn’t cost $100. Even if you go to the most
expensive place in town, you can buy 30 cups of coffee for a $100. You have a lot of nerve!”