- Sit in a straight, comfortable chair in a well-lighted place with plenty of freshly sharpened pencils.
- Read over the assignment carefully, to make certain you understand it.
- Walk down to the vending machines and buy some coffee to help you concentrate.
- Stop off at another floor on the way back and visit with your friend from class. If your friend hasn’t started the paper yet either, you can both walk to McDonalds and buy a hamburger to help you concentrate. If your friend shows you his paper, typed, double-spaced, and bound in one of those irritating see-through plastic folders, drop him.
My wife has a lead foot, so I was not surprised when a state trooper pulled us over as we were driving through Delaware.
Hoping to get off with a warning, she tried to appear shocked when he walked up to the car.
“I have never been stopped like this before,” she said to the officer.
“What do they usually do, ma’am,” he asked, “shoot the tires out?”
A businessman walked into a designer shoe store and approached the sales clerk.
“May I help you?” asked the clerk.
“Yes,” said the man. “I’m tired of buying shoes online because I have wide feet and I want to actually try on a pair of designer shoes before I buy them.”
“Excellent!” responded the clerk. “Let’s find a great pair of designer men’s shoes for you!”