- Preheat oven, get out utensils and ingredients.
- Remove blocks and toy cars from table.
- Grease pan, crack nuts.
- Measure two cups flour.
- Remove baby’s hands from flour, wash flour off baby.
- Remeasure flour.
- Put flour, baking powder, salt in sifter.
- Get dustpan and brush up pieces of bowl baby knocked on floor.
- Get another bowl.
- Answer doorbell.
- Return to kitchen.
A man took his girlfriend to her first college football game. They had really good seats, right above their team’s bench. As the game progressed, he tried to explain to her the different terminology and what was going on in the game, but she didn’t seem to understand.
As they were heading to the parking lot after the game, he asked her how she enjoyed it.
How on earth can you see the TV sitting so far back?”
- “Yeah, I used to skip school a lot, too”
- “Just leave all the lights on . . . it makes the house look more cheery”
- “Let me smell that shirt. Yeah, it’s good for another week”
- “Go ahead and keep that stray dog, honey. I’ll be glad to feed and walk him every day”