- That swimsuit really flatters your figure! Would you mind keeping my husband company while I go for a swim?
- Oh, look, that women and I have the same dress on! I think I’ll go introduce myself!
- His new girlfriend is thinner and better-looking than I am, and I’m happy for them both.
- If he doesn’t let me hold the remote, I get all moody.
- He makes more money than I do, so I broke up with him.
9) “Exterminator down! Exterminator down! Send backup!!! Extermin…”
8) “The GOOD news is… you have termites.”
7) “Do you happen to have a large net?”
6) “You know, I’m also a taxidermist.”
5) “Ma’am, I’m afraid you need to let me take the oatmeal raisin cookies with me.”
4) “FIRE IN THE HOLE!”
3) “Hi, I’m Willie Nelson and I’ll be your exterminator today.”