Your Funny, Clean Joke of the Day
The phone rang and the lady of the house answered, “Hello?”
It was a salesman calling from a mortgage refinance company: “Do you have a second mortgage on your home?”
“No,” she replied.
“Would you like to consolidate all your debts?”
“I really don’t have any debts,” she said.
“How about freeing up cash for home improvements?” he tried.
“I don’t need any. I just recently had some done and paid cash,” she responded.
Last year I replaced all the windows in my house with that expensive double-pane energy efficient kind, but this week, I got a call from the contractor who installed them. He was complaining that the work had been completed a whole year ago and I hadn’t paid for them.
So, I told him just what his fast talking sales guy had told ME last year, that in ONE YEAR these windows would pay for themselves! Helllooooo? It’s been a year! (I told him.)
The bathroom scale manufacturer was very proud of the new model being introduced at the trade fair.
“Listen to these features,” he announced to the gathering crowd. “It’s calibrated to one-one-hundredth of a pound; it can measure your height as well, in feet or meters; it gives you a readout via an LED or human-voice simulator; and that’s not all…”
“Very impressive,” interrupted a none-too-slender sales rep for a chain of home furnishings stores, “but before I place an order I’ll have to try it out.”