Robot Barber

ASIMO is an advanced humanoid robot developed by Honda. Shown here at Expo 2005. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

A local barber shop installed a new robotic barber to take some off the pressure off the owner.

A fellow came in for a haircut and after being told about the “new barber” decided he would give it a try.

As the robot began to cut his hair, it asked the man, “What’s your IQ, sir?”

“143,” the man replied.

Temporary Marriage Permit

"MARRIAGE AND PISTOL LICENSE" office sign, Dekalb County, Georgia (United States) (Photo credit: Wikipedia)Wanting to be married, a couple came to the county courthouse in Virginia where I work.

They accidentally walked up to the offices where hunting licenses are sold.

“We’re from out-of-state,” said the prospective groom. “Can we get a license?”

The clerk replied, “No, but I can give you a three-day permit.”

Grading the Fall

Mérida, Yucatán, 1977. Light construction scaffold. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)John was a construction foreman. One day he tumbled from a scaffold, managing to break his fall by grabbing on to parts of the scaffold on the way down. He received only minor scratches.

Embarrassed by the fall, he climbed back up to continue working. Then he noticed his co-workers holding up hastily-made signs reading, 9.6, 9.8, and 9.4.

Tax Poem

Tax Preparation

Image by agrilifetoday via Flickr

Tax his cow, tax his goat;
Tax his pants, tax his coat.
Tax his crop, tax his work;
Tax his ties, tax his shirt.
Tax his chew, tax his smoke;
Teach him taxing is no joke.
Tax his tractor, tax his mule;
Tell him, “Taxing is the rule.”
Tax his oil, tax his gas;
Tax his notes, tax his cash.
Tax him good and let him know
That after taxes, he has no dough.
If he hollers, tax him more;
Tax him ’til he’s good and sore.
Tax his coffin, tax his grave,
Tax the sod ‘neath which he’s laid.
Put these words upon his tomb:
“Taxes drove him to his doom.”
After he’s gone, we won’t relax;
We’ll still collect inheritance tax.

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IRS Email Scam

Seal of the President of the United States of America (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Dear Sir/madam,

I am currently serving as President of the United States of America. This letter might surprise you because we have not met neither in person nor by correspondence. I came to know of you in my search for a reliable and reputable person to handle a very confidential business transaction, which involves the transfer of a huge sum of money to an account requiring maximum confidence.

Vehicle Inspection

I had moved to South Carolina from New York, and at that time a vehicle inspection was required to register my car.

I was nervous; my car was in rough shape. I thought of New York State’s rigorous inspections. Any number of problems might turn up that would be expensive to fix.

I drove down a country road and found a garage that had an inspection sign. When I told the mechanic what I needed, he got in the car, circled the block, turned on the lights and honked the horn.

Endless Construction Project

2007 in Germany

Image via Wikipedia

On a highway construction project, in which the road had been torn up for years, someone put up a handmade sign reading:

“Scientists tell us that the sun will burn out in one and a half billion years. It is sad that this contractor will have to finish working in the dark.”

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