Grasshopper Ailment

Egiptian grasshopper (Anacridium aegyptium) (Photo credit: Wikipedia)Q: Why did the grasshopper go to the doctor?

A: Because it was feeling jumpy.

Read more clean jokes about , , , , ,

Medical Malpractice

BARCELONA, SPAIN - NOVEMBER 15: A doctor reacts as medical staff and patients gather at the main entrance of the La Vall d'Hebron Hospital during the first day of Health workers strike on November 15, 2011 in Barcelona, Spain. After months of negotiations between the Catalan Government and healthcare workers over the 1 billion euros cutbacks for 2012, over 16,000 doctors from the region will today and tomorrow go on strike at various hospitals throughout the Spanish region. Spain are preparing to go to the polls for a general election which will be held on November 20, 2011. (Image credit: Getty Images via @daylife)

During the course of being interviewed by the press, the noted doctor was asked by a reporter: “Doctor, did you ever make a serious mistake?”

“Yes,” was the reply, “I once cured a millionaire in three visits!”

Read more clean jokes about , , , ,
People find this daily clean joke when they are looking for Clean Health Care Jokes and short jokes.

From Beyond the Grave

mobile phones (Photo credit: phossil)

The doctor had just been buried. The last words of the service over, his friends and family started toward their cars.

However, they stopped because a strange, eerie sound suddenly was heard from the grave.

As the guests looked around, a colleague of the deceased said, “It’s nothing… just his cell phone.”

Just Eat It

Deep fried bamboo worms on a plate

Image via Wikipedia

Little Josh was brought to Dr. Gill cause he hadn’t eaten anything for days.

Dr. Gill offered him all the goodies he could think of. No luck.

He tried a little scolding. It didn’t work. A little pleading, to no avail.

Finally he sat down, faced the boy, looked him in the eye.

Doctors Billing

Conversation between doctor and patient/consumer.

Image via Wikipedia

“Mr. Sampson, I’m afraid I have bad news,” the doctor told his anxious patient as he handed him the bill. “You only have six months to live.”

The man sat in stunned silence for the next several minutes.

Regaining his composure, the patient apologetically told his physician that he had no medical insurance. “I can’t possibly pay you in that time,” the patient informed the doctor.

Church Prescription

When our local doctor began attending church services, the minister was delighted, and it wasn’t long before they were helping each other in their work, the minister referring people to the doctor, and vice versa.

One referral from the doctor called at the church office with a note prescribing the minister’s last four sermons. The minister was most pleased until he discovered that the patient’s problem was insomnia.

Read more clean jokes about , , , , ,

Too Late for the Doctor

I see dead people
Creative Commons License photo credit: mugley

The orthopedic surgeon I work for was moving to a new office, and his staff was helping transport many of the items. I sat the display skeleton in the front of my car, his bony arm across the back of my seat.

I hadn’t considered the drive across town. At one traffic light, the stares of the people in the car beside me became obvious, and I looked across and explained, “I’m delivering him to my doctor’s office.”