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Waiting for a Raise

August 6, 2012 Leave a Comment

01 (223) (Photo credit: Victor1558)

Employer: We can pay you 75 dollars a week now and 100 dollars a week in eight months.

Applicant: Thank you. I’ll drop back in eight months.

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People find this daily clean joke when they are looking for An engineer a physicist and a statistician were moose hunting in northern Canada After a short walk through the marshes they spotted a HUGE moose 150 meters away The physicist raised his gun and fired at the moose A puff of dust showed that the, Clean Jokes Short and short jokes.
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Parrot Careers

April 7, 2012 2 Comments

Cuban Parrot (Amazona leucocephala) in Cuba (2007). Pet parrots. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

A man entered a pet shop, wanting to buy a parrot. The shop owner pointed out three identical parrots on a perch and said, “The parrot to the left costs 500 dollars.”

“Why does that parrot cost so much?” the man wondered.

The owner replied, “Well, it knows how to use a computer.”

The man asked about the next parrot on the perch.  Read the punchline!

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Enough is Enough

January 11, 2012 1 Comment
Sermon on the Mount - Pontlevoy

Image by Walwyn via Flickr

A preacher prepared for Sunday morning service, but only one person, a farmer, was there. He asked the farmer, “What do you think we should do?”

The farmer replied with a drawl, “Well, if only one cow came into the barn, I’d feed it.”

So the preacher mounted the pulpit and began to preach … and preach … and preach. After about two hours, he concluded.  Read the punchline!

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An Average Shot

January 10, 2012 4 Comments
Bull moose browses beaver pond near Grand Tetons

Image via Wikipedia

An engineer, a physicist, and a statistician were moose hunting in northern Canada. After a short walk through the marshes they spotted a HUGE moose 150 meters away.

The engineer raised his gun and fired at the moose. A puff of dust showed that the bullet landed 3 meters to the right of the moose.  Read the punchline!

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Slave Ship

November 30, 2011 5 Comments
Roman War Galleys were frequent subjects of Po...

Image by mharrsch via Flickr

The slave driver of the Roman ship stared down at his slaves and yelled, “I’ve got good news and bad news. The good news is that you’ll be getting double rations tonight.”

The mumbling of the happy slaves was interrupted by the bellowing of the slave driver.

“The bad news is that the commander’s son wants to water ski tomorrow morning.”  Read the punchline!

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Top 5 Signs That Your Company is Planning to Lay You Off

November 29, 2011 2 Comments
Advertising Pays

Image by canonsnapper via Flickr

Do you know the ? Here they are:

5. You frequently overhear the CEO mumbling, “Eeny-Meeny- Miney-You”

4. The guys from the mailroom see you, and their first response is “Oh, are you still here?”

3. The guy from HR keeps asking when can he show your cubicle.

2. Your coworkers keep dropping by and you catch them applying their name to your stapler.  Read the punchline!

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Safety First

November 4, 2011 3 Comments

Safety is a major concern at the manufacturing company where I work. So I’m constantly preaching caution to the workers I supervise. “Does anyone know,” I asked a few guys, “what the speed limit is in our parking lot?”

The long silence that followed was interrupted when one of them piped up. “That depends. Do you mean coming in to work or leaving?”  Read the punchline!

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